1 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:08,717 - Thanks. - Oh! 2 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,510 - Oh, no, Dwight! 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,593 - Why couldn't he start the work 4 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:12,594 when we're already upstairs? 5 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:13,645 - Mm. 6 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,351 - [humming] 7 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,811 What the hell? 8 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,688 No, this is not happening. 9 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,813 - Didn't you get the memo? 10 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:23,982 It's Stairmageddon. 11 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,859 [claps] Come on, Stanley! 12 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,569 Dwight is having maintenance done on the elevator today, 13 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,071 and he was really on top of it. 14 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,448 Weeks ago, he started 15 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,574 the Stairmageddon awareness campaign. 16 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,618 The idea was to get us prepared, 17 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,662 both mentally and physically, 18 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:41,207 for a day that hopefully comes once in 100 years. 19 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,752 It's a "mageddon!" 20 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,754 Come on! 21 00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,671 Come on, Stanley. Stay in it! - [growls] 22 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:51,092 - I put 17 damn years into this company, 23 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,928 and now they're making me climb Stair Mountain! 24 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,347 - Come on! 25 00:00:55,348 --> 00:00:57,556 - Our office has an unusually large number 26 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,934 of unusually large people. 27 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:03,229 - This is an abomination. - Come on. You got this. 28 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,773 - So when something as routine 29 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,983 as elevator maintenance happens, 30 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,986 and people are forced to expend cardiovascular effort, 31 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,697 we have to compare it to the end of time. 32 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,658 [cheerful music] 33 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:21,915 ? ? 34 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,555 - So we're still good for 5:30, right? 35 00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:26,627 - Yeah. 36 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,962 I told you that- 37 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,838 {\an8}- Have you guys seen the website 38 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,132 {\an8}that has the cats wearing all kinds of different 39 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,635 {\an8}holiday themes? 40 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,019 {\an8}- Nothing's changed. 41 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,312 {\an8}I'll be there. 42 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,354 {\an8}- Okay, it's just- - I promise. 43 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,482 {\an8}- No, sometimes you have to take 44 00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,191 {\an8}an emergency conference call from Philly. 45 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,442 {\an8}So I'm just... - Yeah. 46 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,237 {\an8}- Making sure. 47 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,322 {\an8}- You have my word. - Okay. 48 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,616 {\an8}- [muffled] Red alert! Red alert! 49 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,033 {\an8}The reviews are in! 50 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,204 {\an8}I repeat, the reviews are in. - What? 51 00:02:00,205 --> 00:02:01,620 {\an8}- I just got a text from my brother. 52 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,707 - {\an8}ScrantonTimesTribune. - Com. 53 00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:04,873 {\an8}There's a review of the documentary. 54 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:05,958 {\an8}- [gasps] What does it say? 55 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,460 {\an8}- I don't know, Phyllis. 56 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,795 {\an8}I just got the text and started screaming, "Red alert!" 57 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,296 {\an8}- Well, the alert was already set to "red" 58 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,673 {\an8}because of Stairmageddon. 59 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,091 {\an8}You think I should set it to "double red"? 60 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,677 {\an8}- I think we should. 61 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,805 {\an8}- [groans] 62 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,098 {\an8}- "'The Office: an American Workplace' 63 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,059 {\an8}"airing on PBS next month is a documentary following 64 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,478 {\an8}the employees of Scranton's own Dunder Mifflin Paper Company!" 65 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,690 {\an8}- Whoo! [applause] 66 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,274 {\an8}- In the theater world, 67 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,653 {\an8}there is the great tradition of going to Sardi's 68 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,087 {\an8}and drinking until the reviews come in. 69 00:02:36,088 --> 00:02:39,783 {\an8}My Sardi's has been the men's room. 70 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,104 {\an8}And let's just say, 71 00:02:41,105 --> 00:02:43,162 {\an8}instead of liquid entering my mouth, 72 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,123 {\an8}it's been the opposite- 73 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,585 {\an8}doing the opposite out of my opposite. 74 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,961 {\an8}- "In this series, which will air starting in May, 75 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,589 {\an8}"we get an in-depth look 76 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,759 {\an8}"at many interesting local people. 77 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,554 {\an8}"There's Kevin Malone, the Falstaffian accountant 78 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,432 {\an8}whose appetite far exceeds his aptitude." 79 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,892 {\an8}- Wait. 80 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,393 {\an8}Falstaffian? 81 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,311 {\an8}- That's from Shakespeare. - Got it. 82 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,189 {\an8}And aptitude? 83 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,815 {\an8}- "Meredith Palmer, 84 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,610 {\an8}"whose poor choices may make early feminists 85 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,194 {\an8}wonder why they bothered." 86 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,447 {\an8}- See? I make 'em think. 87 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,325 {\an8}- "Dwight Schrute, the head salesman 88 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:24,120 {\an8}forever chasing a manager position he will never get." 89 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,872 {\an8}- What does Josh McAuliffe know about the paper business? 90 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,625 {\an8}He works for a news... 91 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,335 {\an8}thing. 92 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:33,880 {\an8}- "Andy Bernard, the rudderless trust fund 93 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,633 {\an8}"child-slash-middle manager, 94 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,509 {\an8}"whose incompetence is emblematic 95 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,552 {\an8}of a declining American economy." 96 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,389 {\an8}- Ouch. Sorry, Andy, that's... 97 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,183 {\an8}[chair clattering] 98 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,352 {\an8}- It's okay. [chuckles] 99 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,602 {\an8}He's a critic, right? 100 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,229 {\an8}I mean, those who can't do criticize. 101 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,856 {\an8}The hell does he know? 102 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,774 {\an8}Plus, he said I'm emblematic of America, so... 103 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,193 {\an8}I'll take that. 104 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,738 {\an8}- "A possible explanation for his lack of career focus 105 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,908 {\an8}is his surprising musical talent." 106 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:02,950 {\an8}- I want you to print that out for me. 107 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,327 {\an8}- I will. 108 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,829 {\an8}- Now that this documentary is coming out, 109 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,956 {\an8}my days at Dunder Mifflin are probably limited. 110 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,458 And you know what? 111 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,002 Good. 112 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,629 Because this is not what I wanted to do with my life. 113 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,465 I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb. 114 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,134 - "Though it mostly focuses 115 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,093 "on the daily realities of office life, 116 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,846 "a lurid subplot reveals 117 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,181 "the hypocrisy of a local public figure 118 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,727 embroiled in a gay affair while preaching family values." 119 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,354 - Oh. Which public figure? 120 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,897 - I bet it's Katie Couric. 121 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,440 I've been saying this for years. 122 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,151 - No, I think they mean 123 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,445 more like a politician. 124 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,407 - I'm very worried for Robert. 125 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,076 They have us kissing on tape, 126 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,369 which means he's kissing his political career good-bye. 127 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,247 [chuckles] 128 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:52,166 At least he doesn't have to pretend to love Angela anymore. 129 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,960 Of all the beards a man could have, 130 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,629 that has got to be one of the itchiest. 131 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,427 - [grunting, wheezing] 132 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,846 You own the building. 133 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:07,306 Why can't you fix the elevator in the middle of the night? 134 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,976 Who do I look like, Jackie Joyner-Kersee? 135 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,937 - Well, I did say it would be an inconvenience. 136 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,813 You should've called me from downstairs. 137 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,106 We could've met in the lobby. 138 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,316 It's time to go out on a sale! 139 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,234 Here we go. - Son, you've lost your mind. 140 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,863 I'm not going anywhere until you fix my elevator. 141 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,572 - The buyer is your sister's friend. 142 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,908 This is the printing paper 143 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,702 for the entire school district of Lackawanna. 144 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,413 You are coming, and that's an order. 145 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,456 - You are not my damn boss, and you never will be! 146 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:33,750 Guess what. 147 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,919 Never gonna happen! 148 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,089 Pete, iced tea. Three sugars, five creams. 149 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,924 - Your morning 3x5. 150 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,342 Coming right up. 151 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,651 - Well, we won't be late. 152 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,347 I love you, Mom. Thanks. 153 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:51,225 - Oh, your mom's watching the kids tonight. 154 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,559 So what are you two up to? [chuckles] 155 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,063 Oh, um, Embassy Suites. 156 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,480 "Do not disturb" sign on the door. 157 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,773 Mommy and Daddy are on the floor. 158 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,734 - [laughs] I wish. 159 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,528 - What, then? 160 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,738 - Oh, nothing that exciting. 161 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,205 - Marriage counseling? 162 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,915 Hmm. 163 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,083 Did you know that is the only kind of counseling 164 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,711 I have never had? 165 00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:19,670 - You know, Jim's kind of nervous about it, 166 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,213 but I think it could really help. 167 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,798 - Mm. - I mean, we're having issues. 168 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,849 It can't hurt to talk about them, right? 169 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:31,933 - Hey, Toby. 170 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,935 Um, I wanted to ask you a question. 171 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,311 - Oh, sure. 172 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,522 - It's a little, uh, personal. 173 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,194 - Let's do it. Let's get personal. 174 00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:40,441 - I wanted to talk to you about your divorce. 175 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,492 - Whoa. 176 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,737 - Sorry. I- 177 00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:45,696 no, no, no, what I meant- what I meant- 178 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,614 - Oh, yeah, no, it's okay. I can handle it. 179 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,784 Um, so... 180 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,452 - You guys obviously went through some tough times 181 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,120 leading up to it. - [chuckles, snorts] 182 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,040 - Okay. 183 00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,875 I was wondering if you ever did any couples counseling? 184 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,420 - Oh, sure, lots of times. Yeah. 185 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,561 Wait, you and Pam aren't in couples counseling, are you? 186 00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:05,758 Oh, God. 187 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,093 - No, no, no, no, no. 188 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,972 Uh, we're just starting couples counseling. 189 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,017 Uh, which doesn't sound any better. 190 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,479 - Oh, you guys. 191 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,437 Kelly called it. 192 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,981 2013. 193 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,649 So s-hey! 194 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,825 Hey, hey, no! 195 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,652 No. Get outta here. 196 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,195 Clark, get outta here. - My mistake. 197 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,989 - Yes, it is your mistake. 198 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,657 He's lingering. So annoying. 199 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,118 Gonna kill him. 200 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,244 How can I help? I'm here. 201 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,955 - That's all right. 202 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,665 - Hello, William Morris Agency. 203 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,291 I need to speak with your best agent 204 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,419 who represents your biggest stars. 205 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,172 Yes, I'll hold. 206 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,800 I'm sorry. I misunderstood. Good-bye. 207 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:51,637 When you're in a play, you get a review of your performance. 208 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,765 When you're in a documentary, 209 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,518 it's like getting a review of yourself, 210 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,977 and I've been getting some pretty bad reviews lately 211 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,314 from Erin and Wallace. 212 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,359 Big thumbs down from my dad. 213 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,445 I could really use some kind words, 214 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,031 and I think they might come from someone 215 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,283 who's never met me. 216 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,496 [car door opens] 217 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,831 - Thank you, Stan. 218 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,292 Oh, honey. 219 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,171 Look, I just want our life to get back to normal. 220 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,465 Ribbon cuttings, charity balls. 221 00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:29,216 VIP treatment at the county fairs. 222 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,300 - Don't worry, I've scheduled 223 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,262 a press conference for later today. 224 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,265 We just need to face the cameras together. 225 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,851 A beloved public servant and his devoted wife. 226 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,728 And move on. 227 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,063 - All right, if I have to be the good wife, 228 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,772 I'll be the best damn wife there is. 229 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,985 Correction. Best darn wife. 230 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,779 Sorry. I'm a better wife than that. 231 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,281 [sighs] 232 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,387 - This documentary coming out is putting me 233 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,759 on this trajectory to stardom that I can't say 234 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,788 I'm altogether prepared for. 235 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:02,292 I just-I have to-ooh. 236 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,502 I'm in the newspaper. [laughs] 237 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,505 And who knows what's next? 238 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,840 [sniffs] 239 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,134 This is just happening really fast. 240 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,803 Darryl, you're in luck. 241 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,973 I wanna cut your firm in on the Andy Bernard business. 242 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,850 I wanna be repped by Athlead. 243 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,436 - Oh, sorry, man. We only represent athletes. 244 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,938 That's what the "Athl" stands for. 245 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,817 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 246 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,444 - So you just take people who are already famous and wealthy 247 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,987 and make them more famous and wealthy? 248 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,156 - That's the idea. 249 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,992 - Isn't that like shooting fish in a barrel? 250 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,306 - You know, we have a board meeting tomorrow. 251 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,246 I can't make any promises, 252 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,247 but I'm pretty sure I won't bring it up. 253 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,791 - I'm just gonna say this. - Uh-huh. 254 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:44,750 - You can do with it whatever you want. 255 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,586 - Of course. - On my acting r�sum�, 256 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,170 under "special skills"... - Yeah. 257 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,423 - Fencing and tetherball. - Mm. 258 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,175 Mm. - Those are sports. 259 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,135 So just think about it. 260 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,594 - You know, I'm gonna write that down. 261 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,263 - Cool. - Fencing. 262 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,143 - Andy... - Hmm? 263 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,227 [knocking] - I need to talk to you. 264 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,521 - Yeah, come on in. 265 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,689 I'm just on hold with another talent agency. 266 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:07,816 It's insane. 267 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:08,941 This promo with me playing banjo 268 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,902 has 250 views already. 269 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,569 And every time I click, there's more. 270 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,905 251. 271 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,782 252. I can't even keep up! 272 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,700 - Stanley is refusing to go out on a sales call. 273 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,327 - [grunts] 274 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,621 I hate people! 275 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,247 Why do they never do what you need them to do? 276 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,581 Stanley has to go. That's final. 277 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,251 - So what I'm hearing you say is, 278 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,751 "Make Stanley go out on the sales call 279 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,794 by whatever means possible"? 280 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,755 - Yes! 281 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,132 I'm sorry I'm being curt, 282 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,843 it's just I'm about to land a top talent agent. 283 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,428 - Mm-hmm. Good luck. 284 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,680 - Directory? 285 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,683 Movie star department. 286 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,519 Back. 287 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,611 Directory. 288 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,896 - For five years, 289 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,439 I've held my instincts in check 290 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,567 because I wanted to be made manager. 291 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:55,030 Maybe it's time for me to just let that thought go. 292 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,450 It's kind of painful, but it's also freeing in a way. 293 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,953 Now it's all about my instincts. 294 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,673 - Hey, Dwight. 295 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,836 - Stanley, one way or another, 296 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,879 you are gonna come with me to make this sale. 297 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,340 - Pass. 298 00:11:13,341 --> 00:11:14,923 - Hey, can you just let me out of here 299 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,364 before whatever comes next? 300 00:11:16,365 --> 00:11:17,760 - Don't worry, it's just a bull tranquilizer. 301 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,429 Nothing to be alarmed about. 302 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,972 It's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker. 303 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,434 - Dwight, you do not learn, do you? 304 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,479 For a threat to be credible, you ha- 305 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,105 - Holy [bleep]. 306 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,816 - No, you didn't. 307 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:35,445 Sick of you and your-ooh- [tranquilizer gun firing] 308 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,738 [thud] 309 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,202 - It's all right. Andy approved it. 310 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,873 - Man, he's really in Twinkle Town now. 311 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,793 - Is he gonna be okay? 312 00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,710 I mean, weren't those darts intended for an animal, 313 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,798 like, two to three times larger than him? 314 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,926 - Okay, this dosage was meant for a very small bull, 315 00:11:57,927 --> 00:11:59,677 and Stanley's got way more body fat than they do. 316 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,721 - You gave him three shots. - Shh. 317 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,308 We've got about 45 minutes 318 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,393 to get him to the client before he comes to. 319 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,394 Grab his feet. 320 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,647 [grunts] 321 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:11,898 Let's go. - All right. 322 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,442 - Move it! One, two, three. 323 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,985 [grunts] 324 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,071 He's like a manatee. 325 00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,989 Ready? Let's go again. Come on. 326 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,991 We can do this. 327 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,993 One, two, three! 328 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,286 [thuds] 329 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,163 Oh, God. 330 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,581 No wonder my elevator cables are under such strain. 331 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,250 - We gotta get a wheelbarrow or something. 332 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,877 - Yes. 333 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,380 [grunts] 334 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,549 Okay. We're good. 335 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:38,590 We're good. Let's go. 336 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,969 - Oh, my God. 337 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,470 - Push. - I am! 338 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,057 Any big weekend plans? 339 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,517 - I might see a movie. - Nice. 340 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,060 - What about you? 341 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,729 - Uh, I don't know yet. 342 00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:52,521 - [grunts] Let's take him- - I was thinking about... 343 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,773 - Let's go right to the top of the stairs, okay? 344 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,109 - And then what? 345 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,404 - Okay, listen. 346 00:12:59,405 --> 00:13:00,904 I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, 347 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,283 but I've never actually done this before. 348 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,287 - Well, if I may, you're a natural. 349 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,080 - Thank you. 350 00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:10,289 I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head, 351 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,666 like, 1,000 times, but, uh... 352 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,710 - That's a little weird. 353 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,004 - I know. Evel Knievel. 354 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,138 - Okay. 355 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:27,097 That's about as good as that's gonna be. 356 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,517 - Okay, now here's the plan. I'm gonna launch him. 357 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,393 I need you to go down to the bottom and catch him. 358 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,729 - Catch? - Yeah. 359 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:34,855 - I can't catch him. He's, like, 250 pounds. 360 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,776 - You use your hands and just blunt his descent, okay? 361 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,485 He's gonna be moving slowly. - Blunt? 362 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,237 - It's only-it's 15 feet down, it's at a 45-degree angle. 363 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,531 Get set in your haunches, it's like your catching a medicine- 364 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,991 - Dude, the size of my haunches- 365 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,042 [thuds] 366 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,956 - Okay, good call. 367 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,624 He would have put a hole in your chest 368 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,042 same as he put a hole in that wall. 369 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,753 - We should probably call a doctor or something, dude. 370 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,219 - You okay? 371 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,637 - So how does it work? 372 00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:07,513 Is it like, you know, the action of talking 373 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,183 to a third party breaks up the log jam, or... 374 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:12,101 - You're really there to talk to each other. 375 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,438 I would say that the therapist is more of a facilitator. 376 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,856 - Mm-hmm. 377 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,359 - He might start by asking each of you, 378 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,194 "Why do you think you're here?" 379 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,030 - He took this job in Philly without telling me. 380 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,408 He bought our house without telling me. 381 00:14:26,409 --> 00:14:29,076 At a certain point, he shouldn't be rewarded for that. 382 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:32,247 - If I didn't do certain things without telling Pam, 383 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:36,918 she'd be married to Roy... [chuckles] 384 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,836 - I feel like he's always making these decisions 385 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,338 for the family, and then I'm left playing catch-up. 386 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:44,217 - If she can just hang on for a little while longer, 387 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,636 I-this will be so huge for our family. 388 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,806 - Well, what's a little while? 389 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,391 - What do you mean? 390 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,019 - I mean, what's the end date? 391 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,896 It must be really hard for her to sign on to be unhappy 392 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,190 if she doesn't know when it's gonna end. 393 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,776 - That's kind of an impossible question. 394 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,448 - Oh, guys, it's starting! Hurry! 395 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,455 - Ooh, there's Angela. 396 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,664 I work with her. 397 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,374 - Huh. Yeah. [chuckles] 398 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,376 I mean, I'm happy Angela's the first one getting famous, 399 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,756 but it's a little weird, no? 400 00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:24,298 I mean, she can't sing or act, 401 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,758 so it's actually kind of insane, 402 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,427 if you think about it. 403 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,928 - Her hair looks beautiful. 404 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,374 - Yeah, we get it, Phyllis, 405 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,849 she looks like a freakin' movie star! 406 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,809 - Andy! 407 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,562 - I would just like to start by saying 408 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:42,192 that there have been some rumors about my personal life 409 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:45,695 that I would like to settle once and for all. 410 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:49,657 As my long-suffering wife can attest... 411 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,201 I am gay. 412 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,911 [surprised chatter] 413 00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:54,453 - Senator, were you always gay, 414 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,664 or did your wife turn you gay? 415 00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,374 - Question for the senator's beard. 416 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,086 - Aren't married couples supposed to grow together? 417 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,755 - Yes, we're supposed to grow together. 418 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,882 One of them's not supposed to turn into 419 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,424 a completely different person. 420 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,636 - I haven't changed. 421 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:12,305 I was never happy just selling paper. 422 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:13,932 You know, Pam's whole thing is, 423 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,142 why would you change what's working? 424 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,143 But I don't think she wants to change anything. 425 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,021 - I was okay with the job 426 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,980 when he said he could work from Scranton, 427 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,068 and then he needs part-time in Philly. 428 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,904 Now we're lucky if we see him once a week. 429 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,240 - I put everything into this. 430 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,616 Everything. 431 00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:33,033 I mean, this hasn't been easy, 432 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,264 but I'm willing to make the sacrifice for us. 433 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,163 - You want to know what my dream is? 434 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,081 To have a fun day at work with my husband 435 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,085 and then go home and have dinner with our kids. 436 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,962 It's pretty simple. 437 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:48,091 - I'll say it again for mis amigos Latinos, 438 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,385 yo soy homosexual. 439 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,178 - Poor Angela. 440 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,514 - [chuckles] Yeah. Poor Angela. 441 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,474 - I once believed that a gay person 442 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,727 could be somewhat straight. 443 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:02,105 It wasn't until my marriage to Angela 444 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,983 that I realized how... 445 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,569 charmless I find the female body. 446 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,572 - Ooh. Always hurts to hear that one. 447 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,366 - There's someone else I need to thank. 448 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,910 His name is Oscar Martinez. 449 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,704 - Come on. 450 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:22,167 - Oscar is the one who opened my eyes to who I really am. 451 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,587 - Oscar is with the senator too? 452 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,132 - Yes! And I knew it the whole time. 453 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:33,219 I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. 454 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,513 You didn't know, you didn't know, 455 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,474 and you didn't freaking know. 456 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,184 But I knew! 457 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,269 - He knew! - Yes! We did it. 458 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,812 - You did it, Kevin. 459 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,564 - Yes! 460 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,982 Oh! 461 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,776 I did it. 462 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,652 Oh, I did it. 463 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,738 - With this new self-awareness, 464 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:56,117 I was finally able to find love at long last, 465 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,828 with my amazing... 466 00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,373 chief of staff Wesley Silver. 467 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,125 - What? - Wesley Silver's gay? 468 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,584 [surprised chatter] - [gasps] 469 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,880 - Whoa, Oscar and I did not see that coming. 470 00:18:10,361 --> 00:18:13,300 - They make a nice couple. - [gags] 471 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,721 [both grunting] 472 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,973 - Almost there. Almost there. 473 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,851 Okay. 474 00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:23,686 We're running late. Let's get him inside. 475 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,105 - We can't just leave him bubble wrapped like this. 476 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,190 - Are you kidding me? 477 00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:28,482 The bubble wrap is the only thing 478 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,942 that's stopping his suit from getting wrinkled. 479 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,612 These meetings are all about presentation. 480 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,614 - That's actually really smart. 481 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,116 - Thank you. 482 00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:38,409 - God, if only there was any other use or situation 483 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:39,493 for that kind of knowledge. 484 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:40,745 - Let's get him inside. 485 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,540 [as Stanley] Shotgun! 486 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,625 [laughs] 487 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,293 - All right. - [chuckles] 488 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,754 - Senator Lipton, what affect with this have 489 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,236 on your family arrangement? 490 00:18:51,237 --> 00:18:53,632 Will you and Mrs. Lipton continue living together? 491 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,010 - [laughs] - Of course. 492 00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,011 As you know, Robert and I have a young child. 493 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,305 - I'll be moving in with Wesley. 494 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,724 - What? - We need to know 495 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,600 who we are as a couple. 496 00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:03,934 - Robert, we never discussed this. 497 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,519 - Will you take this opportunity 498 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,396 to promote change in the Republican Party 499 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,565 with respect to their stance on gay marriage? 500 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,483 - No, I'll just be switching to the Democratic Party. 501 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,028 - [scoffs] - What? 502 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,654 [clattering] 503 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:16,322 [mic feedback screeching] 504 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,992 - Hey, wait, wait, how- how we doing this? 505 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,205 - Well, I'll grab the forelegs, and you push his hindquarters. 506 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,831 - Just say "arms" and "legs," okay? That just- 507 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:26,206 that's the vernacular that I'm comfortable with. 508 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,417 - Fine, let's go. 509 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,002 - [sighs] 510 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,670 - Hoist his shank on three. 511 00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,671 - What's a shank? - It's by the tenderloin. 512 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:36,009 Roll him, roll him, roll him. Good. Good. 513 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,011 Okay, careful, he's slouching. 514 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,096 Okay, can you- slouch him into the seat. 515 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,350 [grunts] Here. Go around, get the seatbelt. 516 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:43,725 - All right. 517 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,563 - Got it? - Yeah-yup. 518 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,484 - [grunts] 519 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,445 Get in the back. 520 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,030 - What? - Get in the back. 521 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,366 - Aw, come on. - Get in. 522 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,499 - Damn it. 523 00:20:06,576 --> 00:20:09,875 - Carla fern is not just an actor's agent. 524 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:13,338 She does writers, directors, travel, and real estate, 525 00:20:13,339 --> 00:20:15,214 which is perfect for me, because I change 526 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,592 what I want to do, like, six times a year. 527 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,261 Actor? 528 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:22,931 - Oh, no. [chuckles] 529 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,099 Well, I have an act. 530 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,059 Dog, cat, mouse. 531 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,103 - Yeah, wow, cool. 532 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:31,564 Is it hard to train them to do that? 533 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,608 - Eh, you go through a lot of mice. 534 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:34,983 It started by accident, actually, 535 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,277 as these things tend to do. 536 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,569 You know, I was setting down my cat, 537 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,154 and I accidentally put her on top of my dog, 538 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,989 and I was, like, so mad at myself at first. 539 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,826 And then I was like, wait. 540 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,370 Wait a second. 541 00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:47,121 - Does anything go on top of the mouse? 542 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,915 - Yeah. 543 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,835 Little hat. Yeah. - Aw, that's cute. 544 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,211 What's the mouse's name? 545 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,754 - Eh, you know, 546 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,086 it really doesn't make sense to name the mice. 547 00:20:57,087 --> 00:21:01,135 They're kind of like cannon fodder, you know? 548 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,930 You're not one of those PETA guys, are you? 549 00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:06,433 Oh, great. 550 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,934 I guess my realistic dream 551 00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:09,728 is to do a horse, dog, cat, mouse. 552 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,813 You know, all four, like in a column. 553 00:21:11,814 --> 00:21:13,147 And then sometimes- and I know how this sounds, 554 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,984 but I kind of imagine doing all four of those 555 00:21:15,985 --> 00:21:18,235 with a piece of cheese on top of the mouse's hat. 556 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,528 Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't think 557 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,613 the cheese is the hardest part, but, you know, 558 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,867 all four of 'em, they really love cheese. 559 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,660 - Okay, Stanley? 560 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:28,747 Do you understand what we're about to do? 561 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,332 - Hello. - Okay, we-hey. 562 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,626 Hey, listen, listen. 563 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,755 We are going to go discuss paper contracts 564 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:40,133 for city of Lackawanna public schools, okay? 565 00:21:40,258 --> 00:21:42,761 - Pigeons. - Oh, God, this is bad. 566 00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:44,804 Looks like we've got no choice. 567 00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:47,766 You, my friend, are going to have to be Stanley Hudson. 568 00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:52,723 - Isn't the client, like, best friends with his sister? 569 00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,899 - New plan, okay? 570 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,025 We get him a cup of coffee and we go back to the old plan. 571 00:21:58,026 --> 00:21:59,986 Let's go. Gimme a hand. 572 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:01,780 Here we go. Come on, Stanley! 573 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:04,157 Here we go. Upsie-doozie. There we go. 574 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,577 Okay, all right. Come on, big guy. 575 00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:08,952 You can walk, right? Yeah. [laughs] 576 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,872 What a pretty smile. Let's go. 577 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:14,793 - I'm sure Athlead will be a huge success. 578 00:22:14,794 --> 00:22:16,585 But I don't want him to do it anymore, 579 00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,253 and I don't want to give him an ultimatum, 580 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,757 but I am not moving our family to Philly. 581 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,885 - Well, if Pam says she won't go, then...[chuckles] 582 00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:25,427 We're gonna need a lot more than counseling. 583 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,513 Hmph. 584 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,975 - That was exhausting. 585 00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,686 - Blah, blah, blah, blah. 586 00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,312 Jim. 587 00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,188 - Well, they deserve each other, then. 588 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,606 - They do. That they do. - That is for sure. 589 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:38,900 - [whispers] That they do. 590 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,784 - And for-oh, whoopsie daisy. 591 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,285 [chuckles] There he goes. 592 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,787 For your day-to-day use, 593 00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:52,831 we offer 100% recycled paper, 594 00:22:52,832 --> 00:22:55,040 made completely out of post-consumer waste. 595 00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,085 - Ooh, that bunny's got clothes on. 596 00:22:57,086 --> 00:22:58,168 - [laughs] Oh, yeah. 597 00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,628 - Stanley, what is going on here? 598 00:22:59,629 --> 00:23:00,714 - He's fine. 599 00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:03,466 He gets carsick really easily. - Driving. 600 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:05,551 - It's a long drive. He was in the backseat. 601 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,219 But right now we're talking to Mrs. Davis 602 00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,388 about the full range of the products that we offer 603 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,725 and our competitive rates, right, Stanley? 604 00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:15,145 - Ooh-hoo, look at that baby... 605 00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:20,233 - Stanley. - Oh... 606 00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:21,734 - That's Benji in the middle. 607 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:24,988 - That's Benji. Oh, he's precious. 608 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,240 That's a healthy-looking baby. 609 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,867 - Very special little boy. 610 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,577 - Look at him. 611 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,329 I've never seen such a beautiful child. 612 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,539 - Funny sense of humor. 613 00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:35,873 If you push his nose, he'll go, "Eee." 614 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:37,709 - Like this? Watch. - Eee. 615 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,044 [laughter] - Like that. 616 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:41,004 - A beautiful family. 617 00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:44,132 [laughter] 618 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,426 - Right? Come on! 619 00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:48,636 Yeah, maybe I'll never be manager, 620 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,599 but I just managed to get our most stubborn salesman 621 00:23:52,682 --> 00:23:55,143 to close a sale with one of our biggest clients, 622 00:23:55,144 --> 00:23:56,935 and I must say it's the most pleasant 623 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,271 I've ever seen Stanley. 624 00:23:58,272 --> 00:23:59,980 I think we should consider injecting him 625 00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:02,031 with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis. 626 00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,278 - So what can you do? 627 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:08,114 - [British accent] Well, what can't I do? 628 00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:10,158 Right? I can sing, 629 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,910 I can dance, 630 00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:14,287 I can play the banjo, innit? 631 00:24:14,371 --> 00:24:15,955 And if you hadn't noticed, 632 00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:18,875 I've got a pretty good British accent. 633 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,335 - Can you drive a car? 634 00:24:20,336 --> 00:24:21,794 - [normal voice] At the risk of sounding arrogant, 635 00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:23,380 I did drive myself here. 636 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:24,923 - Why do you have, uh, 637 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,967 a high school musical here on your r�sum�? 638 00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,595 What are you, like, 40? 45? 639 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,722 - My exact age is 28 to 34, 640 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,349 so basically just send me out 641 00:24:34,350 --> 00:24:36,100 on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's going out on. 642 00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:39,229 - Gyllenhaal, got it. 643 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:41,564 Can you juggle and crap? 644 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,191 - Yes. 645 00:24:43,274 --> 00:24:45,360 And yes. [chuckles] 646 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,655 - Would you dress up as, say, a birthday clown 647 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,658 and go to a kid's party, let them throw pies at ya? 648 00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:56,079 - Whereas that is not 649 00:24:56,121 --> 00:24:59,374 why I have entered show business, 650 00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:03,712 I do understand that you have to build credibility. 651 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:05,296 [sniffs] I'm all for it. 652 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,257 - You're not in a union, are you? 653 00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,009 - No, I am not. Is that-should I? 654 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:12,095 No. Right. 655 00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:13,555 They foster laziness. 656 00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:14,806 - Thank you. 657 00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:16,391 Personal note now. 658 00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:17,809 Are you gay? 659 00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:19,602 - Not at this time. 660 00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:24,357 However, if the part should call for being gay, 661 00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:27,485 you will find no one gayer. 662 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,571 - Okay. 663 00:25:29,654 --> 00:25:32,532 Well, Mr. Bernard, I'm gonna be honest with you. 664 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,785 - Well, at least I tried. Thank you very much. 665 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:39,414 - No, we're-we're gonna take you on as a client. 666 00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,085 - You are? 667 00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,838 Yes! 668 00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:48,722 Yes. 669 00:25:50,216 --> 00:25:52,385 Are you being for real right now? 670 00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:53,720 Oh, man. 671 00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:55,430 Ah, yes! 672 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:57,057 I need this so bad. 673 00:25:57,182 --> 00:26:01,353 I really think this is what could fix me. 674 00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:06,816 - We are extremely excited to be working with you too, sir. 675 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,819 Pay Todd on your way out. 676 00:26:09,944 --> 00:26:13,782 - Most talent agents take 10% of whatever jobs they get you, 677 00:26:13,907 --> 00:26:17,369 but with Carla, you pay a flat rate 678 00:26:17,494 --> 00:26:19,913 of $5,000 up front. 679 00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:22,374 And that includes headshots. 680 00:26:22,375 --> 00:26:23,999 - Uh, it doesn't include headshots. 681 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,919 - It doesn't include headshots. - No. 682 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,879 - Well, of course not, because that would be insane if it did. 683 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,570 Still getting a bargain, though. 684 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:38,473 - So I just smiled and complimented her grandkids, 685 00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:40,392 and we closed it? 686 00:26:40,393 --> 00:26:41,725 - You earned yourself a nice, fat commission 687 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,103 and you didn't even know it. 688 00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:47,273 I'll go tell Andy the good news. 689 00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:50,652 Oh. [chuckles] Silly me. Gotta take the stairs. 690 00:26:50,735 --> 00:26:52,445 - Oh, no, I'm not doing that again. 691 00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:54,363 You got me down, you gotta get me back up. 692 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,324 - Well-no, no-n- 693 00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:07,669 We need a winch and a hoist. 694 00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:13,717 [cheerful music] 695 00:27:13,842 --> 00:27:20,807 ? ? 696 00:27:20,857 --> 00:27:25,407 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0